Oh, hello and welcome back aboard the Train. Being locked up inside truly is a bore, isn’t it? Throw into the mix social distancing and a supreme lack of motivation and I’ve become a wreck. I dare say you have too. So I did what I always do when I’m down in the dumps, I watch classic commercials and trailers. Specifically exploitation trailers because they’re so silly and oddball that they’re fun to just watch and laugh at. Hey, why not talk about that? This is Volume One of reacting to B-movie trailers, let’s get this show on the road.
Black Belt Jones (1974)
Throughout the 70s a particularly popular type of these features were called ‘blaxpoitation’ and had African-American leads. One of the forefathers of the genre was Black Belt Jones, a martial arts comedy. If you thought all that was too weird then consider tuning out my friend because these trailers will get progressively stranger.
AD INTERVAL | Heath Candy Bar
This film was directed by Michael Crichton, whom perhaps you may have heard of. That’s right, Michael wrote the novel Jurassic Park which became a blockbuster feature in 1993. So, what is Westworld? It’s Jurassic Park but with robots instead of dinosaurs. I’m half spitting facts and another half totally joking.
Stunt Rock (1978)
See what I mean by silly now? Most of the trailer is stunts taking place on those split screens while hard rock music is playing in the background. Oh, also some random guy dressed up as a wizard. Goodness gracious…
The Dirty Heroes (1967)
Among the obscure genres surrounding the exploitation craze some of the strangest ones were understood by their titles alone: Macaroni Combats and Spaghetti Westerns. They were plays on American Hollywood themes, a war movie and a western, made Italian. Dirty Heroes was among the wave of “macaroni”‘s. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind seeing it, though the dubbing is quite humorous for the serious tone it’s attempting.
Ad Interval | Evel Knievel Bicycle Commercial
Hercules and the Captive Women (1961)
This one’s an oldie but a goodie. For me personally, my favorite part was when that fellow (Hercules?) dived straight into the ocean from the ledge; That’s more hardcore than a dodgy tattoo parlor and Stunt Rock put together! For your information, the entire film is available on YouTube if your interested. Me? I’ll stick to the far more hardcore Rampage at the Waffle House, thank you very much.
Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)
Ah yes, the movie about William Shatner and Co. murdering thousands of innocent, defenseless spiders. According to research, the crew used the real creeping-crawling deal, also killing many of them for entertainments sake. That’s both dedication to your project and completely sick. They should put that on the poster: ‘Kingdom of the Spiders: With real 100% Tarantula!‘.
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NEXT | Disaster Double Review