4 Lost/Destroyed Pieces of Lost Media Vol. 1 | (Out of Order) R-rated Indiana Jones?

Hey guys and welcome back aboard for episode 2 of Out of Order, the show where I count down a variety of topics in completely mixed up array. It’s also rather gloomy where the Train is traveling through so now’s a perfect time to begin delving into my new lost media series. This term applies to all forms of entertainment where fragments and bits of the finished project have been removed and either locked away in a studio archive or destroyed forever. Examining these lost segments is a nice treat, allowing your mind to run wild with possibilities on why it was removed, where they are now or if they even existed at all. Welcome to volume 1 of the Lost Media arc of Out of Order; let’s get this show on the road.

Case File I: The R-Rated Raiders of the Lost Ark

The 1981 action adventure Raiders of the Lost Ark starring Harrison Ford as the titular hero Indiana Jones soon became the highest grossing film of that year and is considered one of the best films in its genre as well as in general. But if you told me that it was originally stamped with a R rating from the MPAA, I would be enthralled. A truck-ton of elongated scenes were cut from the final feature which consisted of a stretched out duel with the swordsman and an uncertain amount of profanity, plus so much more. Out of all those scenes, only the longer swordsman sequence and a kiss between Indy and Marion were leaked online, although the latter is now unavailable to view. Bummer.

But C’mon… I think we’re all grateful to have gotten that hilarious moment in the final film.

One of the gruesome of these deleted scenes is the original version of Belloq’s head exploding. In the theatrical cut the blood and gore is heavily blurred by the flames shooting out of the Ark, but in this one the flames are no longer obscuring the graphics of it all. While there was no video per say, the Will McCrabb Twitter page unleashed a pair of the shots to the public on November 14 2013. Take a look:

Man, that’s brutal. Anybody here got some band-aids and an ice pack?

Case File II: Wilkins and Wontkins’ Missing Ads

As a man who binges old commercials on his free time, I can say I’ve come across the Wilkins Coffee commercials from the late 50s before. According to my sources, the famed puppeteer and brainchild of the Muppets, Jim Henson, was hired by the Wilkins Coffee company to produce quick 10 second advertisements for their brand. The ads featured two characters who resemble the puppet icons Kermit and Elmo quite a lot, Wilkins and Wontkins, with each and every interstitial having Wilkins suggest that the other have a cup of the stuff, before Wontkins meets his painful fate when he refuses the offer.

“Drink our rich, dark Wilkins Coffee… or you shall SUFFER!”

If I’m being honest, this is an excellent advertising campaign and will get many people interested in the product, me included. They were accordingly a success for the brand, and Jim would later go on to create about 179 commercials for additional companies. Some of the said “additional companies” comprise of Community Coffee, Red Diamond Coffee and various bread and beverage brands.

The ads were converted to color by 1966 as you can now tell

Only 100 of the 179 commercials starring Wilkins and Wontkins have been found, while I believe that the remaining lost ads are more likely than not archived somewhere in the Jim Henson estate. The last verified interstitial promoted Community Coffee and was released in 1969. Of course, it’s unsure if Jim made more commercials than what was confirmed nor if any have been destroyed. Luckily, that gives us plenty of prompts for conspiracy theories on their whereabouts.

Case File III: Nintendo Power and the Apocryphal Prize

Let’s travel back to 1994 following the financial hit of the Jim Carrey comedy The Mask, and due to the success the studio was on board with a sequel. Apparently for the executives, Jim Carrey was seeking a new acting challenge and turned down a 10 million dollar salary to return as Stanley Ipkiss. Despite Carrey’s refusal to star, it is very much possible that the sequel had began some kind of production. Case in point, the video game magazine Nintendo Power launched a contest in which the winner would visit the set of The Mask II as an extra. This lucky reader was Nathan Runk, who was eventually contacted by the Nintendo Power staff after the news concerning Carrey was announced.

Nathan explaining winning the contest

Thankfully in 2005 the world would finally get the long-awaited continuation of The Mask. Yeah, the original cast wasn’t back, but that hardly – what!? Son of the Mask. Oh no… it can’t possibly be…

We’ll be Back with another Piece of Lost Media after these messages.

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Case File IV: Cartoon Network Ultimate Holiday Wishlist

During the Christmas season, the cable channel Cartoon Network allowed viewers to purchase animation-themed gifts on their website. But in 2003, they went a tad bit out of control with these gifts: now you could have your room decorated like the Powerpuff girls or maybe even Dexter’s own lab! How about Space Ghost’s desk from his talk show or Harvey Birdman’s full-sized car. No, a 42-feet high, 5-room, full blown Kids Next Door treehouse! And this a conspiracy was born.

The ad promoting the KND treehouse

According to my research, no one had bought this for the whopping 1 million dollar price tag accompanied with it. According to a article written by the New York Post, the senior marketing director of the channel, Greg Heanue, stated this, “A few people have been interested, but when we call them back, for assorted reasons the funding fell through.” Heanue also said that so far the only potential buyers have been young kids and not some multi-millionare who happens to enjoy the show Codename: Kids Next Door.

Only one of the treehouses have been constructed by Cartoon Network which leaves us to simply wonder, “Where is the treehouse now?”. My head canon is that it was all just a stunt to see if anyone would buy the gargantuan thing, which nobody happened to. Now the dream of living in the KND treehouse is over as it was probably left to decay in the Turner archives.

~~ Transmission Disconnected ~~

PASSENGERS WHO PUNCHED A TICKET

  • Adhdlifeforever
  • Todd Russel
  • Cnowak
  • Simple Ula
  • Lordvocemofbeyond
  • Matt Kaster
  • Cathy
  • Bob
  • AllSuperInfo
  • The Ebook Way
  • Krissy
  • Eric Kaster
  • Musicpoliticssports
  • The Godly Chic Diaries
  • My Life in Our Fathers World
  • Bereavedandbeingasingleparent
  • Markgtr
  • Shelia
  • Jon
  • Ilene
  • Apostle Takim Quote
  • Saania Sparkle
  • Sumit Official
  • Sweta Ojha
  • Mrs. Bubblebath
  • America on Coffee
  • Stuart
  • Sweet and Nice Things
  • Lapiel
  • Randomness of my crazy life
  • PatrickWhy
  • Phil Perkins
  • Anees
  • Victoria
  • Shauna
  • Cristian
  • Eric Saretsky
  • Mounzer
  • Mr. Blue
  • Mateo
  • LDW

Thanks for tuning in!


NEXT | Disaster Movie Double Review (?)

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