Mystery Science Theater 3000: A Turkey Day Retrospective | Lighttrain

In the not too distant future (next Sunday A.D to be exact), there was a guy named Gavin, not too different from you or me. He conducted aboard the Lighttrain tracks, chatting about movie knacks. He had a good time sharing on his thoughts, then Turkey Day came so he had to review a single name… Mystery Science Theater 3000 of course! For this Thanksgiving season, allow me to talk about MST3K, as the fans dub it, and remember my standout episodes and my memories of such. Without further ado, let’s get this turkey stuffed!

The series was the love child of Joel Hodgson, a former entertainer who created the show for the newly formed Comedy Channel. It starred Joel basically playing as himself in personality; a dry witted, soft spoken janitor whom is shot up into the cosmos and forced by a mad scientist and wannabe world dominator to endure a bevy of cheesy sci-fi films. To keep him company as well as his sanity, Joel creates robot companions, Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot, to riff on each terrible flick with him.

One thing that drew me into the show in the first place was its concept. I love how creative and interesting it is on the surface, escalating depending on how absolutely bonkers the features they watch are. And you better believe they’re insane! The films they sit through and riff on are fascinating on their own level as well; some are entertainingly bizarre, some are hilariously low budget, and others are just plain rotten. You never know what you are going to get, nor whether the plot is going to go. It’s fun to laugh along with your own friends and imagine how these movies, which you may only vision in your dreams, be real.

The format is simple, but it works. A silhouette of Joel, Tom Servo, and Crow lounging in cinema chairs with their backs to the viewers and eyes on the backdropped rolling film. The jokes they crack are faster than a round of bullets, coming one after the other every 4 or 5 seconds. Since MST3K aired primarily throughout the 90s, some gags can be seen as dated, but often the deliveries from the characters still keep it funny. And even if a joke doesn’t land a belly laugh, maybe the next one will. They don’t drag forward with a dead remark, they simply move on to what they have next. I honestly don’t think the format of MST3K earns enough praise, because this ease ranks high with ageless brilliance. I know, a show about a janitor and two robots who make fun of drive-in trash? To others, that idea could sound stupid or odd, but the first class writing, timing, and enthusiasm serves (Servos, anyone?) as an amusing treat.

From Chinese spies, a strange goat-man, disembodied heads, lemon zesters of destruction, and Steves, the crew has certainly seen a wide range of stinkers. But which episode remain favorites? A classic installment, as well as the highest rated on IMDB, is Manos: The Hands of Fate, a movie that has been regarded as one of the worst. For a first time viewer of MST3K, this is a high quality candidate in my eyes. Some additional staples of the series include The Castle of Fu Manchu, Santa Clause Conquers the Martians, and Operation Double 007. I would love to hear about your favorite episodes of the show in the comments section after the post!

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Even though my praises thread deep in this retrospective look, there is a bit I feel I should mention. Not a problem at all, but a, uh… preference, I suppose. Since they watch the full flick in each episode, as shown in Manos they can be rather lengthy. So the novelty of “riffing at terrible shlockbusters” wears off after the first hour at best. And MST3K isn’t very bingable in the slightest; the hundreds of episodes, the sheer volume of each one, the overwhelming mind-numbing contents of them as well. It makes me shudder at the thought of back-to-back viewings! But when I do pop on an episode every once in a while I’m pleasantly entertained.

In conclusion, MST3K has left a big impact on me as a whole. If it weren’t for Joel and the robot’s screenings, I may have never developed my adoration and intrigue of B-movie at all. It ranks as one of my absolute favorites in TV land as of today; a fond relic of Saturday evenings and tearing terrible flicks to shreds with my own companies. It has a top notch apartment in my heart, where it will continue to live for years to come. Need I say more?

OVERALL RATING: 9.5/10 ~ RECOMMENDATION: 8/10

Thank you bunches for tuning in, hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving, have some cornbread for me if possible, and I’ll catch you again in December. Over and out.

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NEXT WEEK | Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure Review… Party On, Dudes!

Moonrise Kingdom/Fantastic Mr. Fox: A Wes Anderson Duel Review | Lighttrain

Hi. Is that Wes Anderson-y enough? How should I start… I weigh less than a slice of bread. There we go! I’m your conductor, thank you bunches for stopping by. Since we are living in this gorgeous autumn weather, I was in the mood for some Wes Anderson films. To be honest, his style could be a genre all on its own. So, I re-watched two of favorites: his stop-motion Fantastic Mr. Fox, adapted in part by the namesake Roald Dahl children’s book, and Moonrise Kingdom, a delightful little farce of two starstruck runaway preteens who turn their island community on its head. Which do I prefer? Well, by Jiminy Cricket let’s get this show rolling!

Moonrise Kingdom Review

Set entirely on a fictional island called New Penzance, it follows two 12-year olds pen pals who feel as if they don’t fit into their community and families. So they put into motion a plan to run away from their respective caretakers to the lush wilderness. Meanwhile, the local police officer instigates a collective medley of the runaways’ acquaintances to recover them.

I watched the film for the first time and kept my expectations in a decent tier, having seen Fantastic Mr. Fox and others prior. My expectations were matched, and I found myself enjoying myself throughout. The sense of humour in the dialogue and the tone is very warm and, in an unorthodox fashion, charming. It sort of reminded me of the Peanuts holiday specials in how they’re both whimsically witty, but one cannot simply decipher why so. While Anderson’s earlier picture The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou earned a reputation for almost having a ton of Anderson’s dry deadpan that it became overpowering, like a bit too much of a good seasoning. Thankfully, since Fantastic Mr. Fox the auteur has been back on the right track.

If you’ve seen at least two of this guy’s films, you would agree with me that the cinematography, which is the shots and framing of the picture, is stunning. I mean, wow! Again, Anderson has a remarkably neat and different approach to film by articulating every shot to look like a drawing in a great chapter book. Or a painting, for that matter. The multiple shades of greens and yellows radiate that true botanical garden essence.

With what Anderson accomplishes with his visual magnificence, does he confiscate for characters? Anyone with a detail-attentive mind may realise that Moonrise Kingdom could fall apart very easily. If the child performers can’t pull off a convincing act, disaster could strike. So for those reasons, I highly appreciate the actors of Sam, Suzy, and even the Khaki scouts as well. Bill Murray, a staple of Wes Anderson’s experiments, is hilarious in many scenes, Jason Schwartzman does fabulously with his potential despite the little screen time he has, and Tilda Swinton, Edward Norton, and Bill Murray are all notable.

I really had a fun time with Moonrise Kingdom; it isn’t big or robust, nor flashy and pandering. Just a solid slice of Anderson’s pie. The flavours and color is worth at least one viewing. Honestly, go watch it already!

RATING: 10/10 “Lighttrain Reel of Excellence”

Fantastic Mr. Fox Review

Mr. Fox has long since left behind his debauchery and squab stealing lifestyle. Or, so we may think. After moving his family right nearby a trio of crooked farmers, the fat Boggis, the short Bunce, and the lean, mean Bean, Mr. Fox reverts back to his conniving ways and burglarises all three. In retaliation, the farmers destroy their home as well as cause strains between the foxes’ relationships. Can Mr. Fox overcome the farmers, and maybe even make things right?

As with most Roald Dahl stories, Fantastic Mr. Fox manages to entertain all age groups in the audience, from children to adults. And unlike most of Dahl’s movie adaptations which stray from his signature dry sense of humor and dark, mature themes, Anderson succeeds in this front. In many ways, both creative maestros have a lot in common. Yeah okay, the movies is definitely a smidge more lighthearted than Dahl’s books, but there’s still a fair serving of smoking, “cussing” , and a bunch of touches that will only click with older audiences.

The film is also unique when it boils down to the artistry and the characters. It’s a shame how many shiny, celebrity voiced computer animated family fests are dumped out today. Disney and Pixar release some good stuff now and then, and Blue Sky reached the stars on one occasion with the surprisingly amusing Peanuts Movie. However, the use of traditional and rough claymation is astounding in a way CGI never could be for this particular project. To me, the style and stop motion to hand in hand rather well. The characters are additionally one of my favorite parts of the adaptation. My personal favorites were cousin Kristofferson, a likeable and talented character that has a name I would genuinely give to a kid of my own. If I were to have one, that is! Another favorite is Wally Wolodarsky as the mild-mannered Kylie, an opossum who tags along with Mr. Fox as his sort of right hand man.

There is something off with the pacing at times though; it’s a lot of short fragments and abrupt in’s and out’s, instead of a clear linear path. And for all its praises, it’s understandable that a minority of folks might not get Anderson’s trademarks and whatnot. If you’re looking for a movie to wholly quiet younglings, not going to do the trick chief. That’s just my inner critic though, and many will pleasantly overlook the bruises.

In a word, Fantastic Mr. Fox is fantastic. Tributing Roald Dahl’s genius and the lost art form of crude stop motion masterpieces, this film can appeal to anybody and everybody. Similarly to the Fall tones of oranges and yellows, the experience will leave you feeling warm and homey. It’s perplexing, beautiful, funny, smart, and adorable all at once. We need more films like Fantastic Mr. Fox, ones that can teach us how to be a carefree kid again, if only for a time.

RATING: 10/10 “Lighttrain Reel of Excellence”

Well, what do you know! Two 10/10 flicks. I wish you a very merry Thanksgiving and thank you so much once again for reading along this evening. What’s your favorite Wes Anderson movie? Please like, share, comment, or subscribe if you enjoyed our post and as always, stay stellar.

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THANKSGIVING DAY | A Retro Remembrance of Mystery Science Theater 3000

Forgotten Film Franchises: Fu Manchu, Tarzan, and Dick Tracy | Lighttrain

Hey, how’s it rolling? Welcome to this episode of Out of Order, the show where we count films down in a non-linear fashion. In the modern era, it seems Hollywood is always seeking out opportunities to create a cinematic universe of connected movies, jumping off the immense popularity of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, or MCU. So although big-budget franchises are common nowadays, there are still some film series that have been forgotten about. For this list, I’m looking for franchises with at least 4 installments that most people wouldn’t know of. Let’s get this train on the road!

RKO’s Dick Tracy (4 Films from 1945-1947)

This narrowly made it onto the list, since there was a Dick Tracy film made in 1990 which has reinstated the noir detective to a more recognizable status. This series has gone through many phases, believe me, ranging from radio serials to comic strips. But I’m focusing specifically on the RKO Pictures series from the 1940s. The most recognizable of the series was titled Dick Tracy Meets Gruesome, starring horror icon Boris Karloff. This was a very obscure installment where Karloff played a “corpse-like” crook whom has escaped from jail. Morgan Conway was the tough sleuth for the first two, Dick Tracy and Dick Tracy vs. Cueball, while Ralph Byrd starred in Dick Tracy’s Dilemma and Gruesome. It’s rather difficult to catch this quadruple collection of pulpy detective farces, but if you can catch Gruesome then give it a watch and see two pop culture figures collide.

Universal’s Dark Universe (3 Films from 2014 – 2020 as of now)

Odd, huh? How a franchise so recent has already fallen from the public attention. I mean, if it was ever in the public’s interest at all. The idea behind the Dark Universe was that it would be a franchise of connected films similar to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but with classic monsters instead of superheroes. The only three movies that have sprouted from the 6 year run were the mixed Dracula Untold, Tom Cruise featuring in a remake of The Mummy, and the recent reimagining of The Invisible Man. Well, where are the others? And why are each of these films released so far apart? Following the at best lukewarm reception to Dracula and Mummy, the studio reconsidered whether or not to move forward with the franchise. They are instead making individual remakes with further standalone continuations, similar to The Invisible Man, which fared much better critically.

So as of right now, the Dark Universe dream seems to have been left for dead by Universal. It’s kind of shocking how much of a failure this endeavor was. They had tons of features in the works, even including an adaption of the novelty hit “Monster Mash” . I don’t necessarily desire to see these scrapped projects, but I wonder what would have been if Dracula Untold and The Mummy were stronger.

Johnny Weissmuller’s Tarzan and Jungle Jim (12 Tarzan Films from 1932 – 1948, 13 Jungle Jim Films from 1948 – 1954)

What’s this? A combo pack? Just to clarify, both franchises star water polo athlete Johnny Weissmuller in the leading role and have to do with adventuring throughout the lush green studio backlot forests. First off, some of you likely are familiar with the character of Tarzan, a chiseled human man raised since a young age by gorillas in the amazon. But did you know about his 13 additional older films? I’m assuming not. On the other hand, we have the far less popular Jim. I mean, when up against a vine swinging howling gorilla man named Tarzan, little ol’ Jim the wildlife hunter isn’t going to strike it rich. Sorry Jim, maybe next time. Yeah, it’s unlikely you’ll ever run into a Jungle Jim fan. Overall, I haven’t seen a single one of these movies myself, but I am impressed by Mr. Weissmuller’s dedication. Granted, these collective 25 pictures were pretty much all of his filmogrophy credits, but it’s still a great feat nonetheless. Oh for heaven’s sake, I’m afraid Out of Order is glitching ou-

We’ll return with more forgotten franchises after these brief Messages

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THANKSGIVING DAY, NOVEMBER 26

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 RETROSPECTIVE FOR TURKEY DAY!! DON’T MISS IT.

We now return to Out of Order on the Lighttrain.

Carry On (31 Films from 1958 – 1978, 1992)

The Carry On movies have a clean cut reason for their misfortunate unpopularity; they originated from the United Kingdom, thus it hasn’t really crossed over. I had never even heard of this series before I did some research for this post, and the franchise is rather unique. Instead of the characters returning for every flick, a medley of British comics returned throughout, each time taking on a different role from the one prior. That sounds like a fun practice for an actor, though I can’t be sure since I’m not a professional. Maybe it was torture. In fact, according to my sources, it kind of was. Most of the recurring ensemble members were paid very little for a feature. In his journal, star Kenneth Williams picked bones out of the series for minor peeves, though he always said to have had a fondness for the franchise itself. On top of that, critics often panned the films one after the other, though a few such as Carry On Up the Kyber, Carry On Camping, and Carry On Spying received decent amounts of praise. And although the critics didn’t find too much to enjoy, audiences kept coming back for more of the returning quick-paced humor, hence why Carry On, well, carried on for so long.

Speaking of critics being incredibly wee with their compliments, I found that I prefer to be a “film enthusiast” rather than a “film critic”. Critics I find cannot simply have a good time at the movies since their job is literally to scour for problems. Not to say critics can’t simply find a film entertaining, but audiences are far easier to satisfy in this way. In that manner, I love films through and through, as you may have guessed. I still notice stains on a movie, but I don’t like to emphasize them. I hope that all makes some sense. Anyways, on to our final franchise of the evening!

Christopher Lee’s Fu Manchu (5 Films from 1965 – 1969)

Ah my good friend the exploitation trailer, back at it again!

This is it folks, the reason I wanted to make this whole list in the first place. Based off a collection of novels Sax Rohmer, the series stars the infamous Fu Manchu, a fiendish Chinese tyrant whom implements criminal syndicates and torture methods to take control of the world. Side note: why is it that villains want to rule the while world? That’s a lot of responsibility. I mean, what do they even plan to do? The plot is absurd, so why am I even questioning anything. From what I understand, the character has stirred some racial controversy in the past, impacting the series in a inconvenient manner. Through the thick and the thin of this dictator’s career, his highs are worth running mentions on the Train. Come on, the guy’s classic thin, long, and droopy moustache has in fact been added to the Oxford English Dictionary. And you know how we’re doing a MST3K review for Turkey Day, right? Well, that show actually did an episode with The Castle of Fu Manchu. And all because some author’s Ouija board spelt “Chinaman” to him.

No, I’m not kidding. I’m also not joking that Nicolas Cage preformed a cameo as Fu Manchu in 2007. Don’t believe me? I don’t blame you, but I have evidence supporting my claim, you know.

His most iconic role. But what is he saying?

~ Transmission Disconnected ~

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NEXT THURSDAY | A Wes Anderson Double Feature!

The Troubled Timeline of “The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T”: Dr Seuss Goes Live-Action? | Lighttrain

Hello, hello! Welcome aboard the Train once again. If you are new here I am your conductor, Gavin Nowak. A pleasure to meet you! I’m almost certain that you’ve at least heard of Dr. Seuss, a children’s book author. His short stories have implemented a flowing rhyme to its own text which have become associated with his creations in general, as well as an overall whimsy and fantastical folly one may only dream of. However, in 1953 the Doctor himself released The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, a film he had written a majority of. It was his first venture into a full-length feature, and didn’t include Seuss’ cartoon style in favor of real performances and sets. So, does this attempt live up to Seuss’ reputation? Let’s find out as we dive into the history and odd nature of The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.

The movie branched off the success of the television series Gerald McBoing Boing, one that Seuss thought up of. While it isn’t related to the characters or setting of that show, it was an inspiration to the author to try new things. Thus he wrote the full screenplay of what he would call The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. The film was centered around a young boy whom, with the aid of his family’s plumber (Mario?), were to bring an end to Dr. Terwilliker’s tyranny. It covered so-called “themes of world dominance and oppression coming out of World War II”. Huh, alright. So, to summarize the bizarre motives of this Dr. Terwilliker, he wants to enslave 500 young boys, hence 5,000 fingers, in his institute and force them to play the piano, a rather long one at that. Yeah, don’t think about rational logic in this world, since most of it is a dream sequence. And it’s written by Dr. Seuss, that is a given as well.

The picture is now considered a Seussian rarity after its flop on release. How is this so? Well, a simple answer to Dr. T‘s failure could be the tremendous amount of cuts made to the film. The crew behind the project were in the hopes of working on a new musical Technicolor classic, in lieu to The Wizard of Oz, maybe. However, to far into production did the team realize that their film was apparently too dark for their target demographic, young children. The test screening of the movie proved this to them, as some viewers left the cinema, not because of grotesqueness, but for being too peculiar. Singer Michael Feinstein, a longtime fan of The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, said, “It’s something either people discover and love it and have this thing for it, or they just don’t get it”.

I suppose imagineering the next Wizard of Oz would be more challenging than Seuss had thought. Following the preview, the crew began skimming off the meat that they believe brewed the mediocre response. Out of roughly 18 musical numbers composed for the film alone, that number was chopped in half. That’s right, only 9 of the created 18 were implicated. Jeez. The movie was released in 1953 remarkably edited down, and proved a mixed bag. Later on his lifetime, Dr. Seuss in fact denounced the creation as, quote, “a debaculous fiasco”. Never since Dr. T has he wrote for the big screen. He believed that he wasn’t meant for Hollywood, but instead books. The film didn’t even earn itself a mention in his biography. How tragic.

Apologies for the grainy footage! This was also the re-release trailer for the film, retitled Crazy Music.

Despite Seuss’ displease with the feature, it remains to this day fondly reminiscenced apon. It currently retains a positive critical appreciation for it’s creativity and infusion of the charming flavor that Seuss was known by. Dr. T has additionaly been dug up like fossils by internet roamers, a fair chunk who have formed a fanbase surrounding this madcap ‘wonderama’, including Feinstein. The group has been described similarly to the cult following of the kooky 1975 jubilee The Rocky Horror Picture Show, as both have theater celebrations during retrospective screenings and tend to quote right along with each line. In modern times, Feinstein and other have campaigned a hunt for all the cut songs in The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, and have been successful in publishing a full-blown soundtrack for the picture. Now that’s a devoted fanbase!

Dr. Theodor Seuss Geisel certainly took a risk with his film Dr. T… With being too strange and too frightening, production was pure insanity! The creator himself ditched his work and left it in a drought. And yet, the dedication and curiosity of the fans care a whole lot. It may prove to some to be confusing, colorful ridiculousness. But to me and some others who took time to process, from the doctor, we expected no less.

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NEXT WEEK | From Fu Manchu to Tarzan… it’s Forgotten Film Franchises!

Our 1 Year Anniversary and Blog Updates [November 2020]

Hello there, I see you’re come for answers. No worries, because I’m here to serve you some. To start, this month is the Lighttrain’s anniversary! Yes, we’ve been around for a year, and all you fantastic folks are now honorary passengers for joining during the early stages of the blog. My first 3 or 4 reviews aren’t very good, but hey, practice makes perfect! And I can’t wait to continue to practice more for another year, with you guys no less. Believe me, the first era of the Train was merely the foundation; I’ve already got a batch of special posts throughout year two planned out. While there isn’t a weekly post of some sort to celebrate this occasion, I still thought I could pull something out of my hat. And what is it, you ask?…

Well, before we announce that entirely separate topic, let me go over some of the more routine announcements. We just finished an excellent month of Octerror (expect it to return in 2021!) so November is taking it more relaxed when it comes to special posts. On this month’s episode Out of Order, we’ll take a look back at Dr. Seuss’ only live-action creation, The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Then on Thanksgiving day, the Train pays tribute to Mystery Science Theater 3000, a series where a human and his two robot companions poke fun at some of the most low-budget and harebrained sci-fi flicks of all time. Read along on this Turkey Day tradition!

Now to the anniversary news. Since I appreciate all of your contributions to the Train so much, you get to nominate the theme for the Train. You read correctly, you guys can vote for this blog’s theme. Simply comment below or on any other post from the blog released before November 3, 2020 for which song you think is most suitable for the honor. Here are the songs up for nomination:

Happy City ~ by Sven Libaek

Last Train to London ~ by Electric Light Orchestra

Last Train to Clarksville ~ by The Monkees

Cast your vote… It is Election Day after all! Volt Vulture is still being written, and it may come out later then hoped. Better late than never though, I suppose. I’ll be auctioning new art pieces on my Instagram very soon; maybe next Wednesday at the earliest. You can find me here: https://www.instagram.com/g.nowak_art/. Wish you guys a good one! See you on Thursday. Later.

Saturday Night MONSTERVISION!! A Tribute to Tnt’s Classic 90s Block | Octerror 2020

Welcome back aboard the Lighttrain and Happy Halloween! I’m your conductor; On this very special night I’ve written a bonus retrospective for the occasion. As frequent passengers will recall, I have a penchant for revisiting – or rewatching – retro commercials on my spare time. They’re such an uniquely engaging time capsule, blasting back to television past. But some of my favorite ads were always for Monstervision, a late night block of movies that aired exclusively on TNT throughout the 1990s. We’ve come a ways, haven’t we? Thirty One days of chilling anticipation for a this beloved holiday. And therefore, to tie up this month long marathon of goodies, let’s get this show on the road and go back… to Monstervision!

Monstervision Promos & Other Goodies

What’s your favorite Godzilla movie? Mine is the original Japanese version from the 30s.
Ray Harryhausen was a special effects genius who is best known for his work on Jason and the Argonauts and Clash of the Titans. I have a retrospective on his films planned for April! Stay tuned for that.
Okay, that was called for. “Moonstervision” , who came up with that? Whoever did, I hope he got a raise!
This is no thanks to how stores have already put up Christmas products. Are they trying to diss Halloween? I mean jeez, at least wait until November 1st.
So if you were ever wondering if there was a film called Gog, your welcome.
Which version of The Blob do you prefer? For me, it’s the 1968 version. From Steve McQueen to the corny style, including this intro, it’s just a more fun experience for me.

Man, why can’t more horror movies have bops in their intro? Apologies if this post was a bit of a letdow- no. No, stay back. STAY BACK!!

S-sorry about that, passengers. The creature from the back of the Train came and attacked me. It’s dead now, I think. No need to worry. I’ll simply… throw the corpse from the Train and pray it doesn’t come back for us. *gulp* T-that was Octerror 2020, folks. Thank you for reading tonight, and I wish you the best for what’s to come. Later.

Elsewhere, in the grass. A few feet from a railroad track. There lay a mutilated body, rotting in the bushes. Smudged over in a liquid mud, it moves. It moves ever so slightly. And then, eyes wide! It slowly creeps its hand down it’s torn open chest, taking out each organ one by one. As the creature slips away from life, the intestines start to slink. To crawl. Away into the fern it squirms, thirsty for vengeance…

“The Curse of Frankenstein” Review: A Hammer Horror Staple | Octerror 2020

Boo! Heh, got you, didn’t I? Nice to see you back, friend. Octerror has almost reached its end, and will conclude in two days with a very special Halloween bonus post. How about that! But tonight we’re taking a look back at The Curse of Frankenstein, directed by Terrence Fisher and produced by Hammer studios. The film is the first installment of the Frankenstein series, based off the original Mary Shelly novella of the same name. If it wasn’t for this movie and The Quatermass Experiment, the studio may not have been renowned for the genre it’s remembered best by: horror. With that in mind, let’s get this show on the road and find out if this reimagining lives up to the Universal classics!

As Baron Victor Frankenstein awaits his execution, he recounts his scientific research. He and his tutor Paul Krempe eventually become equals and have a breakthrough by reanimating a deceased puppy. Because of this discovery, Frankenstein has now become fascinated by the idea of constructing a human creature and bringing it to life as well. Paul is incredibly worried about Victor’s fiancee Elizabeth whom has visited them and in a struggle damages the creature’s brain. Due to the brain’s deformity, the alive creation doesn’t behave as the Baron intended, going on a killing spree. As Frankenstein descends further into insanity, so does the eventual demise of his creation.

Now, allow me to get the monster out of the room. No, Curse of Frankenstein doesn’t surpass the Universal version. However, there is still plenty to enjoy on this one. This is Hammer’s first venture into a fully color feature, and I must say that everything looks stunning. From the glowing luminance of Frankenstein’s potions to the Autumn leaves on the premises, the wide watercolor palette is a feast for the eyes. And given this is Frankenstein we’re reviewing, aesthetically pleasing is a superb compliment.

Some of my favorite horror entries of all time are more rooted in atmosphere. In modern Hollywood, a “horror flick” is thin on plot, but the real fat is with jumpscares and piercing jolts in music to startle viewers momentarily. By momentarily, I cannot phrase enough how much the scare is repetitive. It’s sort of like a comedian tickling you with a feather, rather than deliver genuine humour. The same concept applies to horror. Thank goodness that Curse of Frankenstein has its foundation in the right place! It is no where close to spot-on, but the consistent creepiness throughout definitely satisfies my tastes.

The acting is additionally something to praise. Two horror icons, Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, preform wonders with their characters. Cushing as the cunning Baron Frankenstein arouses a particular shift from intelligent pupil to eager madman. His utter dedication to his blasphemous hobble of a man is a joy to watch unfold. The creature formed by the Baron, acted out by Lee, has a tone to him that urges viewers to feel sorry for his dilemma. The film’s highlight – one of two, actually – is when the flaming monster falls through a window into a massive tub of acid. This accomplishment is leveraged also by the magnificent score and the impressive, though on occasion vanilla camerawork and cinematography. The former is a vital tool for the atmospheric subgenre, as well.

Terence Fisher’s The Curse of Frankenstein is one of those simply solid films. This compliment to the Frankenstein name I feel deserves more attention in the horror community, even the film culture in general. Although the James Whale installments are arguably better directed, you certainly can appreciate how Hammer strung up an alternate approach to a monster exemplar. That, at the very least, is worth applause.

RATING: 7.5/10 “Recommended to Horror Aficionados”

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HALLOWEEN NIGHT AT 6PM PACIFIC | Saturday Night Monstervision! A Commercial Tribute to TNT’s Block

“Edward Scissorhands” Review: Is it Burton’s Masterpiece? | Octerror 2020

Oh, hello! Hope your Halloween has been terrific, and today we’re continuing our Octerror marathon. Stay tuned in for next week for a retrospective review of the Hammer Horror Quartermass and the Pit (Shockingly, not about murderous tools). Tim Burton, an icon of the gothic fantasy image in the 80s and 90s. He struck gold with his dark comedy Beetlejuice in 1988, and once more with his spin on Batman a year later. What had the director have up his sleeve next? That would be Edward Scissorhands from 1990, which originated from Burton’s own childhood. In fact, Burton himself has said that this film is his personal favorite. So, what about it has struck such a chord with the creator himself? Let’s get this show on the road and see!

In a 60’s color-pastel suburbia, a lonely and dark castle sits on a hill overlooking the cul-de-sac. Castlevania, perhaps? No, for it is the home of Edward, an artificial man with a bundle of scissors instead of hands; This is because his creator had passed away before he could apply the real hands. He is discovered and taken in by a kindly woman named Peg and her family, where Edward is warmly greeted into the neighborhood below. However, things soon start to take a turn for the worse.

One thing I find is something of an underappreciated art in the name of film is a “hang out” movie. This is a picture usually thin on plot, rather handing center stage to dialogue between characters, most often an ensemble. Examples of hang out movies include Dazed and Confused, A Hard Day’s Night (which I’m hoping to review in the future as well) and a bevy of films by Tarantino, such as his latest Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood. The reason I mention this term is since, Edward Scissorhands teeters off the ledge of being a hang out movie. Just gripping a tree and dangling from the edge. Does it fall off this crater? It’s kind of up to preference, but it’s fair enough to nominate. And for that, I reward them bonus points.

The main standout of the feature is the namesake protagonist, that’s right, Edward. Played miraculously by Johnny Depp in one of his earliest Burton roles, he emanates a sort of innocence. When he is first introduced to the community and their neon patterned houses, Depp’s wide eyes would fit right alongside the awed expression of a child grazing a candy shop. What astounds me to little end is he does all this with minimal lines, almost saluting the era of silent black-and-white horror. His wonder with our world might even make you marvel, too.

To segway, the acting all around the table is decent. Scavenging for a mammoth dud in the category would be a waste. While this has nothing against the performances per se, the romance arc that blossoms between Edward and Kim feels terribly forced into the narrative, adding the most uninteresting of spice and ending up contrived and not necessary to the plot at all. It’s like being on the outfield and a baseball just darts out of the blue and sucker punches your face. Alright, maybe that wasn’t a definite comparison… the fact of the matter is that it feels jarring. Not to say it didn’t have potential, but the lack of actual emotional connection stirring with the two has its hand to blame for the flop.

Additionally this month I watched Beetlejuice back-to-back with Edward Scissorhands and considered making this a duel review. Of course, that’s not what happened, but this is just a simple encapsulation of what my main thoughts would have been. I definitely took a knack out of the former’s set design and effects and eccentricity. However, I found I enjoyed Edward Scissorhands slightly more throughout as a film. Beetlejuice had a larger range of issues, and overall the opposite feature felt more personal and had more heart and soul poured into it.

Over all, Edward Scissorhands is a heartwarming little film and definitive for any Tim Burton retrospective. Although the love story is as bland as bread in enticing the audience, the tragic fable of a compassionate yet misunderstood loner envelopes me into the fantastical world. It’s worth at least a watch for any younger enthusiasts of the genre.

RATING: 8/10 “Recommended to Anyone”

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OCTOBER 29TH & 31ST | Octerror Ends…

6 of my Favorite Halloween TV Specials [Out of Order] | Octerror 2020

Is that juice you have? Blood!? Oh, “blood”, okay got it. Apologies and welcome back aboard. I’m your conductor tonight, creeping forward with our Octerror marathon. While the many slasher film franchises like Friday the 13th and of course Halloween are there to watch annually, we cannot forget the Halloween television specials that are there to warm our hearts… with a flaming rod! And with dynamic dialogue and scenes, too. Sometimes the best specials can even rank higher above some of the Christmas classics. What are these chilling challengers? Let’s find out as we get this show on the road!

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966)

“Don’t take it to hard on yourself Linus. I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life too.” Teens in a nutshell .

Well, what else? Released a year after the low-budget though critically beloved A Charlie Brown Christmas, this follow up explores the holiday of Halloween, and features the Peanuts gang in a series of loosely woven vignettes. As you remember, Linus eagerly awaits the arrival of a supernatural “Great Pumpkin” which wastes his entire experience, Snoopy goes on a make-belief journey as his eponymous World War I flying ace, and the rest of the kids celebrate the occasion. I honestly prefer this program to the special it spawned from, that being Charlie Brown Christmas. The score is excellent at capturing the feel of the season, the dialogue is idiosyncratic of childhood wit and charm, and the animation compliments the quaint style nicely. It’s hard to find much to nitpick at, and it holds a lot of nostalgic value.

This might arguably be my absolute favorite of the list, but each special I would recommend too. And though I’m a big fan of the Peanuts comic strip myself, I can understand why people may have issues with the structure or the animation. Because we’re so used to boisterous special effects and large scale action, “hang out” movies are becoming increasingly something of a forgotten art. To sum it up, I adore this half hour of cartoon chitter-chatter. Nothing more to say about it, a traditional Halloween treat.

The Night of the Living Doo (2001)

The Special in it’s Entirety. Quality is alright.

Scooby-Doo is still a massive franchise today, but in the 90s and early 2000s they were welcome all the time on Cartoon Network. So much so that in 2001 it got it’s own original special called Night of the Living Doo. It’s kind of an obscure thing in the Scooby-Doo and Cartoon Network fan base, even though it has some promise. It is reminiscent of the New Scooby-Doo Movies, a series that syndicated the original series with the addition of special guest stars like the Three Stooges and Sonny and Cher. Those were the times, am I right? Here they have Gary Coleman, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy stars in a musical segment, and my personal favorite, David Cross. Cross’ character runs an abandoned castle in the middle of the woods, next door to the cemetery, and guarded by a shark. But it’s also a hotel for the rich and famous! And no wonder it isn’t getting any buisness.

Although the animation has been reused from old Scooby-Doo properties, the writing definitely makes up for the weakness there. It would be right at home with the retro original shows that aired on Adult Swim in it’s first two years like Space Ghost Coast Coast and Sealab 2021, both in humour and animation. I like how the ending and explanation of what happened makes hardly any sense, partly due to Mark Hamill just showing up. If you haven’t seen it before, check it out above and see for yourself.

Elvira’s Movie Macabre (1982-1986)

A Halloween Special hosted by Elvira on MTV.

This is the kind of icon the 80s people often recognize, but don’t really know where it originated from. Cassandra Peterson earned popularity on the show biz scene as the gothic, cleavage bearing, and humorous horror hostess Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Yeah, pretty sick name! She played commonly scummy public domain b-flicks such as The Day of the Triffids, Blacula, and Empire of the Ants. Longtime passengers might know that I have a fascination for these kinds of exotic movies. It’s always a fun time to watch exploitation trailers and laugh at the overblown corny ridiculousness and awful taste. So yes, I was into Elvira’s series concept for this. It sort of reminds me of what would become Monstervision, a late-night block on a Turner channel that had a familiar fashion.

The character has been revived back from the graveyard a handful of times, none of which lasted nearly as long as the original run. Elvira has additionally made appearances elsewhere in other random pieces of media. Movie Macabre is a great little blast to the past and an entertaining viewing for a schlock historian like myself. And hopefully thanks to this post you now are knowledgeable about this vampiric movie-grading mistress.

Don’t hide under your bedsheets, Octerror comes in peace…

We’ll return after these messages.

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Edward Scissorhands Review: A Review of an Uncommonly Gentle Man

Never-ending bag, right… Out of Order now continues.

The Treehouse of Horror Episodes (‘The Simpsons’)

I like that Alfred Hitchcock Presents Reference. Very nice, very nice.

This is kind of, in a sense, your pick. This slot is whatever your favorite “Treehouse of Horror” episode is. As of the time writing this, The Simpsons is still on the air, having churned out 30 of them in total, with the 31st nearing later in October 2020. Woah, that’s a lot of terrifying anthologies to cover! I’d go along and say the first six “Treehouse of Horror”‘s are high-quality content. So go ahead, insert your favorite here! Alright, moving on.

The Cheers & Frasier Halloween Episodes

Okay, if you’re confused about why I’m including two separate shows in this slot… well, why not? I’m fact, Frasier was a spin-off of a recurring character from Cheers. And I love the both of them; they might be some of my favorite sitcoms. So why not add the Halloween specials to the list? If I were to pick one specific episode from each series as the prized contenders it would be “Fairy Tales Do Come True” from Cheers, and “Halloween ” from Frasier. The former takes center stage per usual at the pub, with the patrons dishing up their own costumes for the occasion. The episode is surprisingly heartfelt, given that it’s the Witching Hours. Rather than screeches of fear, Cheers takes a spin on it and adds fantastic character moments and a feel-good vibe of a local bar. While the Frasier episode has some issues, the experience is still on level with an average entry in the series. For Frasier, let’s be real here, an average episode are cleverly-written, a good time waster, and give sitcoms a good name.

In the special, Roz thinks she might be pregnant, so Frasier suggests that they go to Niles’ Halloween party to take her mind off the anxiety. Not much stands out from the regular Frasier fare, except a single dud. Whoever let Camilla Grammar – Kelsey Grammar’s wife – guest star in this minor role should probably rethink the decision. It’s not her lines, rather her terrible performance and delivery of these lines. I mean, I suppose she gets some props; she did scare me in the Halloween episode of a sitcom. Congratulations, Miss Grammar!

Mad Monster Party? (1967)

What do you guys think of the song?

And last but certainly not least, Mad Monster Party? from 1967 and directed by Jules Bass. Okay, what’s with the question mark? It’s not really asking for an answer, and the film is about what it says it is. Feel open to share why you think that punctuation was used. As you could assume from the animation techniques, this is the same studio that landed on the map with their annual Christmas stop-motions, particularly Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. They would be Rankin/Bass. Although Rudolph is played on repeat around the holidays nearly every year, it’s easy to claim that somebody may not enjoy it since the effects no one can really praise for being realistic or smooth. Frankly, it emanates amateur elements of the medium. But on the flip side of the coin, similar to Night of the Living Doo sometimes animation quality isn’t everything to it. Both conserve energy to have a charming and imaginative script instead, which again saves Mad Monster Party. The designs are great, and to support Rankin/Bass and their team, this style definitely works better in a Halloween special than a Christmas one. The Year Without A Santa Claus is an exception!

Thank you bunches for stopping by and reading my thoughts. I wish you the best during the season. Catch you later next week for more Octerror…

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Octerror’s Left the Premises. For Now…

A Look Back at the “Castlevania” Games on the Nintendo | Octerror 2020

Well, how do you do? It’s after hours on the Train; it’s been a pain getting passengers, no thanks to those dog forbid ghouls roaming around and the blood red glow of a full moon. Indeed, Halloween has come again! If you’ve met me in the real world before you will know that I’m not much of a gamer, well… at all really. But that doesn’t mean my relationship with video games is completely nonexistent; case in point, the Castlevania series. It is able to crawl into my conscious fervently because it’s such a brilliant concept for a game like this. So, let’s get this show on the road as we go over why I hold a special appreciation for Castlevania.

The first venture into Castlevania to slay the infamous Dracula was released originally in 1986 by Konami, before being adapted for the Nintendo Entertainment System, or NES, a year after. You play as Simon Belmont, a member of his family’s buisness of keeping vampires and the supernatural in check. The plot henceforth is arguably quite basic, to roam around the castle’s catacombs and wings hunting Dracula, fighting off many monsters as you go along. Now, before reaching the big boss, there are various other minor bosses you must defeat in order to continue, and some of them are just awesome as the vampire himself! The team take a bit of Greek mythology and implements a Medusa head a la Clash of the Titans, a Frankenstein inspired directly from the iconic James Whale films; the Grim Reaper makes a worthy opponent as well! That was an unique touch I always loved, that even Death himself heeds Dracula’s bidding.

Along my thoughts on this game, I cannot help but agree with the general consensus. The score and graphics are stunning, especially for an early NES addition. It was so fun and, again, creative for its time. Also, the cartridge artwork is marvelous. I mean, what a way to sell the game! But what does bother me to no end is the end credits. Just… here watch for yourselves.

Imagine you worked hard on this groundbreaking game, putting in all the sweat, tears, and strength you could gather. And then, in the credits, your name has been twisted into a spectacularly stupid pun. Oh Konami, you and your terrible sense of humor. I mean, Vran Stoker? Christopher Bee and James Banana and Trans Fisher? These are supposed to be nice little homages to horror icons, such as Belo Lugosi and Terrence Fisher, but c’mon Konami! I wake up in a fright just thinking about it… Eugh, ‘Trans Fisher’.

Don’t go anywhere, we’re watching….

And the phone just remained silent, and nobody ringed up.

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6 of my All-time Favorite Halloween Tv Specials on “Out of Order”!

We know Return to Octerror on the Lighttrain!

Following the success of the original Castlevania, a sequel called Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest came suit a few years later from the same people. Even though the gameplay is miraculously flawed, Simon’s Quest still has a lot of repeatability and retains that Castlevania charm. The visuals and music once again are on par with the first, but as we get in deeper through the tunnels, its true issues take center stage.

Although it left it’s stamp on video game history, major problems litter the experience. Before that though, the premise is similar in that Simon Belmont must yield Dracula’s wrath. Since you’ve slayed Dracula in the original, his five body parts have spread out across different mansions, and you have to collect them all. More Pokemon then Castlevania, really. The main issue is the text, which constantly interrupts the game. From legitimate spelling errors to flat out lies, they serve little to no purpose, besides annoying you that is. I appreciate the newly added role-playing format and elements that Konami integrated, but in those games clues were rather valuable. In Simon’s Quest, they’re just too cryptic for a kid to even figure out.

This can be easily considered a Nintendo Power game, as it is so challenging to decipher. Nintendo Power was a magazine that promoted and provided tips and codes for, you guessed it, NES cartridges. As mentioned, there are a cyclone of additional problems such as the day-and-night cycle, hearts being currency, and the weak bosses. However, those are all things I prefer not to go to in depth into because we still have a whole installment to wrap things up with, Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse!

Released in 1989, Dracula’s Curse returned the series back to its roots. It instead focuses on Trevor Belmont, a relative of the one and only Simon Belmont, who is on journey to once more kill the vampire lord. In fact, that makes this entry a prequel! Yes, Castlevania III goes back to the basics of the first adventure, but what fresh ingredients are tossed in here? The first notable deviation is the crossroads every so often where Trevor may choose which path to take. The second is a first for Castlevania; the option to play as a side protagonist, each with a special ability. Accompanying Belmont in his goal to defeat Dracula are Sypha, who has sorceress powers, Grant, a pirate who can climb across walls and the ceiling, and lastly Alucard, Dracula’s son whom can fly about as a bat. Fun fact of tonight; Alucard is surprisingly “Dracula” backwards, and the character first originated from the 1943 film Son of Dracula directed by Robert Siodmak, 3 years before his breakthrough on The Killers.

Text? Gone. Lame Boss Battles? Not a trace. Day-to-Night? Nadda. Many folks, including Castlevania’s sole creator and myself, consider Dracula’s Curse as the masterpiece of the series. It both balances remaining loyal to the classic, as well as mix in excellent new features that elevate the gameplay. If you happen to own a retro NES or plan to, Dracula’s Curse is most certainly one to collect, pop in, and have a fun time. And with that, we conclude the Castlevania trilogy on the NES. Perhaps one day we can return to the series and cover the remaining games. Thank you for taking a ride on the Train and see you next week as we continue our Octerror marathon! Mwahahaha!

Stay stellar…

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OCTERROR WILL HAVE ITS REVENGE…